Actually.....

Well…that was interesting.

Ever since setting myself that task, I’d felt a growing panic. Now, when I’m nervous, I drink. To settle my nerves, I poured a little whisky into a glass and supped it like a gentleman. An hour later and I was slugging great mouthfuls from the bottle like a dirty tramp.

After that, things get a bit hazy and the next thing I know I’m stood at the condiment table in Wetherspoon’s talking to myself and drinking vinegar out of those sachets. I left before the authorities were called and passed out behind some wheelie bins.

When I came to, I decided that I definitely don’t have time to set myself ridiculous challenges like reading every VSI in a year.

Here’s me making sense of it -

I read really slowly, it takes me about 2 minutes to read one page (and I’ve timed myself, with a stopwatch.)
Given that there are, on average 150 pages in each VSI, that’s 5 hours per book.
In order to complete the task in a year, I need to find a spare 5 hours every day.
Not to mention the fact that each book costs £7.99 - a total of £1733.83 for the series.

Where I an unemployed millionaire with two broken legs and a food tube, it would be a great plan, but I’m not. I have a job, I have a life already brimming with self-appointed, mind-sucking responsibility and it‘s getting shorter every day.

Besides, I already have 80-odd books on my list that I actually want to read - why should I want to add another 217 about which I don’t give a good god damn.

It’s a daft plan - out the window - it’s made my life a misery already and I haven’t even started it. There comes a time when you just have to accept your intellectual limitations and recognise the fact that if you really cared, you’d know about it already.

Maybe I don’t know everything , but I know that I don’t care about Cryptography (VSI 068) or International Migration (VSI 157) and I don’t see why I should force myself to for the sake of some public announcement.

People lie all the time - you can just call that one of mine and feel free to judge me when you’ve met all of your personal targets.

So, bang, it’s been eliminated from my roster of failures before it had the chance to appear.

Pre-emptive strike.

I win.

As for the blog and my foolish quest to make it ‘about something’ - let’s just say that as soon as I’ve decided what I’m about, then I can work on pissing specifics into a black corner of the internet.

I’ll write it, I’ll be fairly regular, but here’s the end to me considering it as anything more grandiose than a simple pass-time.

If the blog is about anything, it’s about me stroking my own ego and enjoying the thrill of seeing ream after ream of disconnected ramblings appear on the screen - just like a real publication.

And trust me, I enjoy it.

If anyone else does, that’s a bonus.