Pornography for Handbag-Fanciers

Hi guys.

Last night, I sold my principles off and ditched my morals.
I did something bad, something I consider a sin of taste.
I watched Sex and the City, the first movie...

Firstly, shut up!

I won't go into the hows and whys but I'll tell you this - it wasn't out of choice. I'd already used my veto on something else.

So, how do I review a film that I didn't like?

I approached it, albeit reluctantly, with an open mind. There was no way, I thought, that the franchise could have been any worse than it was in my head and to give it it's dues, it wasn't.

It wasn't any better either.

Sex and the City, if you don't know, is about four women and their folly-ridden, farce-infested search for love in New York City.

I just threw up a little in my mouth.

We have Charlotte, the ditsy brunette, Miranda, the red-head with a family, Samantha, the promiscuous, self-centred blonde and Carrie, the narrator and columnist.

Carrie has had an on-off thing with Mr. Big, the almost-perfect man, for the duration of the six series and in the first movie, they decide to tie the knot.
Naturally, this blows up in their faces when Big gets cold feet. It's just for a fleeting moment but it's enough to evoke a disproportionate response from Carrie who plunges into despair and spends the rest of the movie realising that the misunderstanding was largely her own fault.

Meanwhile, Samantha, the blonde whore, has trouble maintaining a solid relationship when a gigolo moves in next door, Charlotte falls pregnant despite being told it was impossible and Miranda kicks her husband out for sleeping with someone else.

Throw in a few other chick-flick cliches and you've got yourself a movie.

Of course, it's not all about the storyline. Sex and the City is pornography for handbag-fanciers and shoe-addicts. There's something shallow and pathetic about that but I can't really talk - my pornography is all about tits and asses. Having said that, it's hard to take the plot seriously when it keeps getting interrupted by fashion items.

Like I said, I'm open-minded, so I cant ignore the effect that the show has had on the collective unconscious. It battered down the barriers and opened the floodgates for women to talk about sex and relationships, not in the way that society would like to think they do, but honestly.

The unfortunate consequence is that we now live in a liberated society with nothing on TV except Desperate Housewives, Dirty Sexy Money and the L-Word all of which probably wouldn't exist had Sex and the City not gone there first.

Sex and the City 2 is in cinemas now.

I'm sure you're all thrilled to hear it.

I've got my ticket.